The Thamensian: ‘Boris leaves his shopping until the last minute’

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“TWAS the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.”

Which was good because you don’t want mice nibbling your pressies now do you kids?

Although I am often Scrooge-like on this page I have to confess that I love Christmas and all the traditions that go with it.

In particular I love the Christmas Eve tradition which sees me say ‘I have some last minute shopping to do’, sneak out of the house and spend two hours with my mates in the pub.

I used to think this was a great scam. Always nice to catch up with friends, nothing too heavy about the drinking, and then go home and snooze in front of the telly when Chitty Chitty Bang Bang comes on.

It took me years to work out that actually I was the one being scammed.

Mrs The Thamensian got a couple of hours peace and quiet without me on Christmas Eve and could get on with important stuff like putting the decorations straight that I had put up wonky.

Her rolling of the eyes with a ‘how come you always leave it to the last minute’ look as I left the house was in fact simple relief that I was going out.

And the rolling of the eyes when I got home was fuelled by a mixture of mild disappointment and strong cooking sherry.

There are of course a number of people who actually do leave their Christmas Shopping until Christmas Eve.

I admire anyone’s nerve if they can do that. A couple of years ago I had just bumbled my way out of the Bird Cage and was merrily heading for home on Christmas Eve when a blonde headed gentleman bundled me out of the way as he erupted from Cargo and bolted across the road to the sweetie shop in a maelstrom of bags and last minute gifts.

‘Merry Christmas Boris’ I shouted. ‘And to you Sir’ replied the Lord Mayor of London.

I trust that our former MP has a great Christmas, and I hope that Santa brings each and every one of the readers of the Thame Gazette exactly what they ask for.

A light dusting of snow this evening would just set off the splendid festive lights along the High Street beautifully and tee us tomorrow up for that second great tradition in my house, the grand post-pub awakening and ceremonial hauling out of my chair so I can go and sing Christmas Carols around the tree in the town centre.

Merry Christmas readers.