‘Organising the Not Thame Show is easy peasy’

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A second year drifts past and still Thame is a no Show.

As soon as I saw the fair vehicles gathering at the rugby club it brought back memories of years gone by with the High Street blocked for waltzers centrifuges and arcades and the marquees erected at the show ground.

Since nobody bothered to organise Thame Show this year I took things into my own hands and held the second annual Not Thame Show yesterday.

It turns out organising Britain’s Best One Day Show is a lot easier than I expected, and I am happy to volunteer my services to the committee looking to bring back the proper show next year.

Setting it up was simple enough. I found a venue (my garden), checked with Health and Safety (Mrs The Thamensian) and set up a marquee (a tent).

I wanted to make it as authentic as I could so I granted the assorted Thamensian children a day off school and they all went to Legoland.

I then set the admission price at extortionate and hoped nobody sneaked in through the cow tent.

Having sorted out the logistics I needed to give the public something to enjoy.

The animal prize awards were simple enough. Our Guinea pig took first prize, mainly because the cat ran away when I tried to pin the rosette on.

I popped up to the charity shop and bought a tweed jacket from the 50s to make me look important, then set about judging the giant vegetables.

This proved more tricky than I had imagined as all we had in the fridge was a bag of parsnips and half an onion.

However, rather ingeniously I thought, I made a tiny-weeny rosette for this category, so the veggies looked much bigger. I don’t think anyone noticed.

Next I needed to recreate the market stall element of a country show.

This was done by digging out some towels, opening the boot of my car and telling passers-by that they cost £40 in the shops but I won’t charge you that. Not even half-price of £20. First hand up gets both for a fiver.

I kind of regret that sale, especially after a shower, but I was on a roll by now and was soon roaring round and round the garden on a quad bike, then falling off some horses, and finally leading the massed band of the Ghurkhas on a finishing lap of honour.

Frankly, that made the beer tent a bit busier than I expected.

But then you expect a few teething problems and next year’s Not Thame Show will be back, bigger and better than ever.

You never know, the real one might be back as well.

That would be nice.

Yes, you’re right, dear reader, it HAS been a bit of a quiet week. I’m off up the fair. See you by the dodgems.