World War Three is on the horizon. Thousands are now homeless in the Middle East. An estimated one million people are now living below the poverty line in the UK. But you wouldn’t know because all I have seen all week is the story of some bloke with an ill-advised beard throwing his ice cream in the bin in a cooking show. It must be a strong story; Dirty Diana the cake baking saboteur even has her own fake twitter account.
Because we are interested in the news of the day, and not at all because we are deeply sad, a few of us were sitting around discussing ‘The Bincident’ last week and the conversation moved on to which of us would win a baking competition. Many people have told me I am a master baker over the years and gradually as we talked the idea formulated to hold our own baking competition.
Then I had a better idea: let’s enter Thame Show’s home baking competition. Every year I shuffle round the tent admiring homemade cakes, biscuits and cheese strings, so why not have a go ourselves? It can’t be that hard can it? It’s not like we are growing big onions or showing off our plums is it?
And so I head for the Thame Show office and grab the requisite forms. It costs £1 per entry, but the rewards are massive: £2.50 first prize. I begin to dream of retiring to the Bahamas if only I can get my dough mix right. I scan through the categories. Victoria Sponge is the crème de la crème I reckon so best avoid that. There are some categories where you have to stick to a recipe; that looks easier. How hard can Ginger cake be? We’ll have a go at that.
Oooh look. ‘Men only’ categories. Slightly sexist, but there is a thin line between sexist and sexy so let’s have a go at apple cake. And then I spot the ‘four sausage rolls’ competition and I know I have found my niche. No recipe, no clear rules; I could make three monster rolls and one chipolata. Brilliant.
I ring round and we are all up for the challenge and so I seek our Show Director Chris Parker who mocks when I hand in the forms. He also tells me to mention that there will be buses going round town to help less mobile people get to the show this year. That’s another great idea and typical of the planning that has gone into this year’s event.
Everyone get along on September 18th. It will be a fantastic day and Thame needs to show its support for a great tradition. You’ll spot me there easily enough: I’ll be wearing the first prize sausage roll rosette with pride…
And now it’s down to you. What do you think about life in Thame? Email firstname.lastname@example.org