‘I just couldn’t answer sensibly’

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Thame cartoonist Robert Duncan takes to the spotlight this week to answer our quick-fire questions. He will be taking part in the Thame Arts and Literature Festival in October.

What’s your earliest memory?

Those Vikings...

What do you wish they’d taught you at school, but didn’t?

How to answer questionnaires sensibly.

If you could pass one new law tomorrow, what would it be and why?

Make squatting illegal. Don’t know why really, just seems like a bleeding liberty.

If you were stuck on Death Row, what would you pick for your final meal?

Something low fat. I’d be slimming.

And if you could write your own epitaph, what would you pick?

He tried, poor sod.

If you could have any super power, what would it be and why?

Invisibility. There are a lot of hotel rooms out there...

What’s your greatest fear?

Falling off a mountain in a burning car being devoured by rats, with some of the people in The Apprentice talking to me.

What was the last little treat you bought for yourself?

An iPad and a brownie from Lotte’s Kitchen in Chinnor.

If you had to give up something tomorrow, what would you find it hardest to live without?

My wife Cathy.

What’s the most important lesson that life has taught you? Don’t try to be sensible.

What websites do you use the most?

My own www.duncancartoons.com because it looks good and works well for me and www.thecartoonistsclub.com because its full to the brim with genius.

What is your favourite shop within 20 miles of the Thame town centre?

My favourite shop is Lotte’s Kitchen (run by my daughter) because she sells wonderful deli stuff, and cakes cakes cakes! Life is complete (until I try to get my wife out of there.)

Which person in the public eye would you most like to meet?

Prince Charles. I think he would appreciate and envy what I do. He’d have been happier doing all that.

What do you go out of your way to avoid? Tell us about it..

Alan Carr...

Always leave them laughing – so please tell us a joke

Little brave walks into the big chief’s wigwam. He says “Hey chiefy, how do we all get our names?”

The chief thinks for a moment and replies. “Well, when a new brave is born I open the flap of my wigwam, and the first thing I see becomes the name of the new arrival. That’s why we have a Running Deer and a White Cloud.

Anyway, why do you ask, Dog Peeing?”